While on my run this morning, my phone fell out of my pocket. I didn't notice that it was gone until we got home. We retraced our steps... twice. We tried calling the phone and texting the phone... but someone had found it and turned it off. They also turned off the location services, so my handy Find My Phone app was useless. I spent my morning turning off my services and swiping my phone clean.
Andy's camera stopped working yesterday. When he took it into Canon we got the estimate of a cool $500 to fix it. Oh, joy.
I would love to tell you that I have handled this whole thing with grace and perspective. Not only would that be a lie, but it would be one of the biggest lies I have ever told. I have yelled, cried, and cussed. I have lost my temper at everyone living in my house for horrible reasons. I yelled at my very sweet and kind 19 year old for leaving a butter knife in the sink. Yes, you just read that right. A butter knife.
After some time acting like a spoiled child, I decided I should practice some self talk. Really, it is just a lost phone. It sucks, but it isn't life altering. And the camera? Well, that sucks too. But, it is something he needs to get fixed. We have some money in the business account, we can use that.
These are just things. Everything that is important to me is OK and everything will be OK.
Did self talk help? No. I continued to act like a spoiled child.
I got into the car and heard a heartbreaking story on NPR. There are woman in the Philippians giving birth to babies in the aftermath of the hurricane. They have lost everything... their homes, their families, their friends... and now, alone, they are having to face the fear of raising a child alone. I cried. I prayed for these women. I prayed for the Philippians.
This is when you would think my horrible attitude changed. Nope. I continued to act like a spoiled child. I know, it is embarrassing, but it is the truth.
It wasn't until I got a message from a friend. She said she and her husband were coming over. She was bringing beer and dinner. She wanted to just sit with me. At first, I said no. I warned her of my anger and prickly attitude that my family had to endure. She said she didn't care about those things. In fact, she wasn't coming to fix me. She is coming to just sit with me. As is, prickly and all.
This is when my heart finally started to soften. I was offered grace right where I was. I slowly went around the house apologizing to my family for my attitude. I again received grace.
Today I am thankful for love that comes when I deserve it the least.
Labels: brat, grace, grateful, lost, love, spoiled, things